Don't read this if you dislike romantic poems. Yech. This is where we fell in love, at that lighthouse, under that moon, by that bell buoy, on that night. We rang church bells at the wedding too.
I love the line 'The beam laid a path quite simple to see.' It felt like you trusted me as the reader. Can you describe the experience of falling in love without saying you fell in love? I start to feel it in your recollection of 'your eyes and the ring of your laugh.' The 'we' in this opening is strong too. It brings the reader into the shared experience.
Hi Bri, Thanks for reading and commenting, always a pleasure to hear your sharp insight. I could have substituted out the phrase 'we fell in love' for 'we felt at home' because that was what it was like for me, a feeling of coming home at last. I'll have to swap out these phrases and look at how it sits (hate to lose the rhyme with above). I am not inclined to write love poems but if you met my wife you would see how I can't help myself, she is quite something. Maybe 10 smoochy poems in 40 years.
I love the line 'The beam laid a path quite simple to see.' It felt like you trusted me as the reader. Can you describe the experience of falling in love without saying you fell in love? I start to feel it in your recollection of 'your eyes and the ring of your laugh.' The 'we' in this opening is strong too. It brings the reader into the shared experience.
Hi Bri, Thanks for reading and commenting, always a pleasure to hear your sharp insight. I could have substituted out the phrase 'we fell in love' for 'we felt at home' because that was what it was like for me, a feeling of coming home at last. I'll have to swap out these phrases and look at how it sits (hate to lose the rhyme with above). I am not inclined to write love poems but if you met my wife you would see how I can't help myself, she is quite something. Maybe 10 smoochy poems in 40 years.