Really like the rewrite, and greatly respect and admire your generosity in inviting your readers (also writers for the most part, but still) into the midst of your writing process. Brave! And, in this case at least, possibly inspirational.
Anytime luscious shows up things get interesting. It is an curious process opening up a poem, writing it and have the poem itself have opinions about where it should go and what it should say. They are small but opinionated.
Really like the rewrite, and greatly respect and admire your generosity in inviting your readers (also writers for the most part, but still) into the midst of your writing process. Brave! And, in this case at least, possibly inspirational.
Yes, it was an interesting thing to do. I was a little stuck with that phrase so it was a good way to get unstuck.
This is perfect, Wes
I really love the whole rewrite--the lengthening out to give everything its due. And this line in particular is wonderful imo:
the thrill a leaf feels
unfurling on a
luscious spring day.
Thanks Amy,
Anytime luscious shows up things get interesting. It is an curious process opening up a poem, writing it and have the poem itself have opinions about where it should go and what it should say. They are small but opinionated.
I like the sigh placement very much💙. Feels good.
We all can benefit from a well placed sigh.