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Peter Whisenant's avatar

Your pacing is perfect. It evokes the transitory nature of the world as seen from the window of a train. The world as observed from a train has inspired a lot of writing, hasn't it? It seems almost everyone who writes at some point tries something in the genre.

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Weston Parker's avatar

All that rhythm and tempo drumming into you, such fun to try capture those fast moving scenes. Thanks for reading and commenting

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Megan Youngmee's avatar

a lovely read. I could feel the rhythm of the train

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Weston Parker's avatar

“clickety clack, don’t hang back!” There was some song from years ago like that. Loved watching aliens in an alien land as your boys navigated the moral swamps of a modern mall. My girlfriend from years ago was partly raised on a houseboat in northern France and then a mill house in southern France. Her dad was William Wharton, one hell of a writer.

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Jed Moffitt's avatar

We cover so much ground so quickly and as you observe, it changes the way we see everything. My son lives in Granada so any picture of Andalusia tugs a heartstring.

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Weston Parker's avatar

I remember now that you mentioned that. I hope you get to see him often enough.

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Jed Moffitt's avatar

I do. He’s flying in for a visit in a couple of weeks. I am hosting a reunion of sorts. Are you to Connecticut yet?

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Weston Parker's avatar

It's always lovely to see your kids. We were in Connecticut for a week and now in Maine until October, then return to Connecticut for October, November and December.

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Lara Chapman's avatar

I enjoyed the reading, Weston!

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thanks Lara.

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Wendy  Gray's avatar

I've never been on a train, but your poem took me for a most memorable ride, Weston. Lovely piece! Many blessings and MUCH LOVE, ~Wendy

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thank you Wendy. I hope you take a train ride one day, it is an altogether different experience of travel and, to my mind, the very best next to walking or biking.

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Such a picture and so many good sounds. I especially liked:

"by the clack of the track

that passes for rhythm

if not for the rhyme

of this rushed inspection."

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thanks Margaret. Reminds me a little of the pace of P. D. Eastman’s, “Go dog. Go!”

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

One of our favorite books when my big kids were small! Dan and I still say to each other, “Do you like my hat?” in our Go Dog Go book voices.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Laurie and I said it just the other day because my sons dog looks as goofy as the one with the goggles.

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

😁

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Jessica Rath's avatar

The rhythm of this poem evokes an old coal-fired, steam-driven locomotive... and childhood memories. I wish there were more trains in the US.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Me too Jessica and to think that we were once such a great railroading nation.

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Sunny M's avatar

I can feel the running of the train in this! :)

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Weston Parker's avatar

After we dealt with the conductor, I grabbed a cup of coffee in the train car and had about 15 minutes left so the tempo of this one was definitely at a forced pace. After rereading it yesterday I sat down and wrote the opening lines that asked, "Can anything worthwhile be written in sixty seconds?" That was interesting to follow through.

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

I feel like I just traveled from Málaga to Córdoba with a poet-philosopher in the window seat and a box of poppies smuggled in my carry-on. :)

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Weston Parker's avatar

From which we could later make maybe some low grade opium, if things get awful. 😉. I have a couple shirts and shorts from Patagonia made of hemp so could also smoke my shorts...All that craziness aside, that was a lovely train ride and too dang short.

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Stanley Wotring's avatar

This poem eloquently chronicles that ride!

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thanks Stan.

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Cheryl Towers's avatar

Delightful! Love trains, too.

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Weston Parker's avatar

I think train a terribly romantic, so a genteel and elegant way to travel when compared to airplane or bus. I love going to the cafe car and pretending I’m on the Orient Express going somewhere refined and stylish. Ha!

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Cheryl Towers's avatar

I’ve always wanted to take the train through PA just to go around Horseshoe Curve in Altoona. Somehow it’s never happened, but I’ll get around to it, even though there’s nothing refined and stylish about it!

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Weston Parker's avatar

Hi Cheryl. Even though it might not be stylish, I love those old names like Horseshoe Curve. Up on Swans Island, Maine the water is really frigid and there is a great spot called Toothacher Cove. There was a great dramatic poem by Robert Service called "The Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoals", another great name.

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Frederick Fullerton's avatar

Good poem, Wes. Ialso prefer travel by train when possible. It's a pleasure to watch landscapes unfold as you rest with yourimpressions and thoughts.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thank you Frederick. These days I don’t have any real poems floating around and so I looked at my notebook from several months ago. The sickening direction of our country has such a dampening effect on anything creative that the sensation of writing a creative poem seems like a distant memory.

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MK Creel's avatar

That clack of the track, I can hear it.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thank you MK. It was fun to try to capture the fast pace of everything.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I haven’t ridden a train in 20 years but you’ve managed to capture the rhythm nicely, Wes, and seeing a bit of the sights was a plus! Thank you.

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Weston Parker's avatar

Thanks Paul. After just walking around Màlaga for weeks on end being on the train seemed like a whirlwind.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

My trip took a bit longer than 42 minutes, Los Angeles to San Diego

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Weston Parker's avatar

but you beat all that traffic. How long was the trip?

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Driving from Los Angeles to San Diego takes about 2 hours; driving back can take up to 4 hours

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Weston Parker's avatar

That’s not too bad. From, say Avignon to Paris by car can be 7 hours but half that by TGV train.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

just under 3 hours.

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Richbee's avatar

Fast ride. Train tracks clack polished rails shine .

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Weston Parker's avatar

Fun comment Richbee

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